So its the 4th...24 hours until my birthday.

Now this is the part where I'm suppose to be emo shit about being 25 and being alone. The part where I'm gonna wallow about how my life sucks and how much it sucks to be me. How alone I feel and how much of a disappointment I am to alot of people...but owkey...NO! NOT right now. Because for some odd reason I have not been having the best week of my life (well...its not like I always have the awesomess time of my life when I'm at work you know). It's only Wednesday and I feel like I've already had enough heart attacks. So I hope that the sucktitude has reached its peak. Plus I lack sleep and am in no mood to go into details and re-count the the 3 days. Urgh.

I've been asked several times what my plans are. I have all the desire to mark the "occasion" with booze and happiness and all other things that are so 25-ish. But Oddly enough I'm officially broke and so I would have to wait for next payday to celebrate my birthday.

Anyway...I'm finally logging out in 15 mins. And I'm meeting the boytoy in megamall for an early "extended" (since he's been giving me bday presents and birthday eat outs since last week) birthday shiznit. yay! And I'm excited because I seriously wanna go home now and run away from the freakin phone. Plus I wanna see him and throw tantrums at him. Heh.

We'll see how today ends. I wish to have enough Valium to OD myself and be sane...enough to last me until I finally and glamorously keel over and die of a drug overdose on the eve of my 30th birthday. I kid ya I kid ya...owkey maybe not.

Turning 25 and in a state of destitution— how did life become this harsh?

Okay...so the 25 entries before my 25th birthday didn't exactly happened. It was harder than I thought and hoped it would be. I've completely forgotten how retarded I am when Its "work week" that the most "fun" and "productive" thing I ever do is attack those bitches in sorority life and fashion wars in facebook on my 15 minute break and smoke like a chimney on my lunch break (yes I know, I am cursing under my breath right now) with the boys and laugh out loud on my way home with roy bout whatever till we both can't breath anymore. Trust me, I can have the word BORING tattooed on my forehead and not have people wonder why. My brain's too constipated to produce something eloquent or witty . Either that or I just don't have much to say about how my 25 years of existence (in this 3rd world country) and my experiences led me to who I am today and made me a better person. Because yes peoplz I am worst than I could ever be.  And with that I give you the 25 most stupidest, craziest and dumbest things I have ever done in my life. Prepare to be choked...

1. Some,  if not all, of the men I've slept with are losers. YES they are.Unfortunately it took me atleast a year to figure out that nice guys have penises too and yes they work and definitely can have sex too. And trust me, if only my vajayjay can speak, she would've probably yelled at me and detached herself from my body just to get away from all those losers.

2. I drink like a drunken construction worker and get drunk like one too.I have no idea what the hell is with vodka, rhum and beer that makes me come back for more. I mean srsly, they bring nothing but trouble to me and my sanity. I always end up being too drunk to function and swear the morning after that I will NEVER as in NE-EH-VER drink a drop ever again and end up as usual breaking that promise. What the hell?! YES PASS ME THE MARTINI. BOO!


3. I push the nice boys away and force myself to the assholes who couldn't care less about me. I was probably a masochist of some kind in my past life. I can be the dumbest girl when it comes to choosing men. Refer to number one for reference please. These men...the bad ones...they excite me. Like a giggling HighSchool girl you bet.


4. There was a time in my life where I partee'd too much. No I did not misspelled the word party owkey?! Together with getting drunk and wasted, there was a time where I just couldn't function well because I chose to be well...wasted. It was the dumbest thing...really. It was an Amy Whinehouse kind of drama that made me hum to "REHAB" for awhile.


5. I was never good at saving up. 5 years in this industry and the most expensive thing I've ever bought was my digital camera. I'm just so good at wasting money. Shopping anyone?!


6. The "Relationship" that I'm in right now cannot get any complicated than it already is. I mean...I think I can be burned alive for this. Oh hai thar Lucifer, get me that red carpet...just not too soon. kthnx.



7. 25 years old and there was never a day since I was 20 where I missed a day without mouthing profanity and or obscenity. I mean, you can basically google my name and have the F word and all other god forsaken words typed beside the definition of my name.  


8. I have tendencies of smoking like its the end of the world when I'm stressed. I smoked like one 2 years ago and finally had the guts to quite.But guess what?! I just smoked a pack the other day. Not very friendly to my lungs.


9. When I was 19, my parents were generous enough to send me to school again even after graduating college. A year after nursing school I chose to stop and be independent. It was a stupid thing to do really. I mean not that I'm regretting it or anything ( as a matter of fact I think I am...) but maybe things would've been different if I stayed home and became less bratty about being independent. Now I'm the poorest amongst the poor.


10. There were possible "relationships" in the past year that I had to let go,  forever having the thought of what if's. Refer to number 6. I guess having HIM in my life makes it even more complicated because I'm stuck at being with him and all the other men that I liked remained being just my friend one because I always rush things with them and second because guy number 6 is there. Ow shut up!


11. 4 years ago my parents started fixing their papers for migration in Australia. My mother practically almost begged me to go back to school so I can come with them to Australia, being over aged and all I had to go back to school and make it look like I'm still depending on their resources and all that crap. BUT I didn't. Guess why? Because I was still inlove with an ex that took me 5 years and one dead ex bf to realize that he is after all not the one for me. Now I'm gonna be stuck in this 3rd world country. Without a family, not even a decent relationship and a job that couldn't keep me sane.

12.  About 3 years ago I was in a department store buying a cheek blush, I was in line over the counter for about half an hour holding one fucking peice of blush on. I was gonna be late for work and I swear to god I was never gonna put the blush back after waiting that long only to go back and fall in line again some other day for god knows how long. So being the bitch that I am, I decided to put the blush in my pocket and just go. Yes I stole it. And guess what?! I was caught. Stupid...stupid...stupid...what the hell was I thinking?! I can only laugh at myself now.

13. In July I met someone who seriously made me feel like a highschool girl gone bad, the kind that giggles for no apparent reason. The kind that blushes when she hears his name. It was worse than a Jonas brothers fan moment. So we met up a couple of times and finally went out to watch a movie. I thought I was gonna faint and I was so ready to dial the hospital's number for ambulance assistance until I did something really stupid. Something I promised I won't do with him until I'm ready and he is too. Then poof! Gone.

14. In 2007, during the Milenyo Storm instead of being home after work my Convergys friends and I were in the middle of the Commonwealth road drunk driving. I could've died yes, but ya think I cared?!


15.  I was so inlove with boyfriend number 3. So inlove I dated his bestfriend so I can be near him. Oh please! Go ahead and strangle me.


16.  A year ago I was stupid enough to believe that my biological dad has changed and gave him the benefit of the doubt. My Ass! Off course he didn't changed. I'm gonna forever regret that I gave him another chance. It was like opening a door for him and having him slam it to my face with him on the other side laughing at me for being so gullible.

17.  I can be an asshole friend at times. All those people I lost touch of I lost touch because I was to lazy to take the time to text them or meet up with them.


18. Ever wondered why after 5 years in the industry I am still an agent and didn't even get promoted? Not even once? Because I can be the laziest person in the universe. I quit the moment I feel like quitting.

19. I lost a 35,000 pesos worth of cellphone inside the movie house because I was busy making out with my then boyfriend.

20. I later lost that boyfriend because I told him I was still (unfortunately) inlove with boyfriend number 3 and is so confused weather I really love him or not.

21.  After my last serious relationship I basically got scared to let people in my life because I am scared shit they might end up dead too. Literally.

22. I like OD-ing  myself with diet pills whenever I'm depressed about my weight. It has indeed been a battle my whole life. GET A LIFE KLAUBETTE!

23. I waste money on bags and shoes. What to do with all of them? Oh yeeeeaah I'm a girl. I have all the right to. Okay. Owkay.

24. I bitch around too often. That's a given I guess...  

25. I think I'm gonna be fired for having an affair with her boss. Not that I'm planning to. I mean can someone get fired for flirting? Excessive flirting maybe?

I have no fucking Idea how I'd be able to post this blog entry since heh, we don't have internets at work (losers) but I'm honestly fucking bored right now and I swear to god I'm gonna die any minute soon...die of hypothermia. My fingernails are purple and my hands are freezing cold, too cold it hurts. Geez, this office needs to lower down their air condition...either that or I'm just retarded. Plus I'm about ready to bump my head on my desk because I really...like reeeeaally wanna go home already. I freaking hate this schedule. Everyone on the team are home except for Miles and I. And we're seriously thinking of logging out an hour before our shift ends. lolz

So I hate being around unfamiliar "zombie" looking people, I can be a total bitch to unfamiliar faces. Doesn't matter if they're sitting beside me or infront of me. I can bitch slap someone right now just because I'm bored. Owkey...so that was the spoiled brat in me kicking in. But srsly, I wanna bitch slap the girl sitting 2 seats from where I am, just because she's too loud and I hate her accent.

Furthermore, let’s all pretend that I am having fun at work right at this very moment even if I wanna flush myself down the toilet out of boredom and annoyance because I am still here, talking shit about cable internet. OMGWTF!

What do you do when you're back at work after less than 12 hours and you had just 2 hours of sleep and you have a weird seatmate who constantly checks out websites of girls on bikini and asks you if tha beeyach is hot. WTF! I say stomp at yer feet and run out of the building and never  come back. Ok...maybe some other time...

I am constantly drafting images of myself being a writer / artist who is willing to starve for the sake of art inside my head. And I am constantly hoping that this nightmare of working in a BPO company would end soon. Then again I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon or for the next 10 years or so, since I am the poorest amongst the poor and needs lots and lots of money for shopping and drinking...for they have always been my emotional cure-all. And without them, I am gonna die.

NO. SRSLY...I know I'm not making sense right now. I wish I can fight off consciousness and play dead so they would send me home, but that would take the Armageddon to happen. So I guess I would have to pretend yet again that I LOVE  MY JOB. Meh.

OMG OMG OMG OMIGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD!!! ME WANT TICKETS FOR THIS!!! BIRTHDAY PRESENT! ANYONE?! gaaaaaaaaaaaah! ♥

please?

1. I am like no other (YES SHUT UP!)

2. I am sweet as candy beybeh, you'll never go wrong. (LOL)

3. I am not and never will be a materialistic gf.

4. I am a cheapskate. Toy Kingdom and McDonalds makes me a happy happy girl.

5. I am a generous gf.

6. I hug alot.

7. I cook, wash clothes and clean for bf's. Even if I usually ask someone to do those things for me.

8. I go the extra mile for surprises and such.

9. I say I love you and mean it in the truest sense of the word.

10. I can cook adobo and spaghetti pretty well. Yes the kind that makes you forget your name. bah!

11. I'd take care of you when your sick...even when your not.

12. I can make you smile like no other.

13. I can be one of the boys and watch a ball game with you and drink till the beer's coming out of my nose. Pretty gross but I think its sweet.

14. I can sit with you, and just hold your hand for hours when you don't feel like talking.

15. I will never look and smile at anyone like I look and smile at you.

16. Adoration and Love can be combined. Yes that's according to me.

17. I'll let you have a boy's night out and not care about what you do, like you give me a girl's night out and not care about what we do.

18. I like making bf's jealous...just because I think it's cute when they are.

19. I can make you laugh when your mad.

20. What I don't know won't hurt me...hence NEVER EVER tell me what you did the night or the week before with the boys.

21. I usually apologize when I know I'm wrong.

22. I'll let you pick whatever channel you want.

23. I'll believe in you like no one has.

24. I'll watch you sleep.

25. I'll sing to you even if I'm out of tune.

Is my baby sister Kamesh...

1. I curse like a frat boy gone bad

2. Beer, rum and vodka makes me happy

3. I chunk a beer mug and drink like drunken frat boy gone bad (and yes number 1 and number 3 are a lethal combo)

4. I can open canned goods with a knife, yes with just a knife. what?! ow! shut up!

5.  I laugh out loud.

6. I like video games.

7. I love rock songs NOT r'n'b

8. Dirty talk like vagina and such doesn't euw me much.

9. I am a total asshole in real life.

10.  I act like a total doofus in love. I chase after someone, go gaga and throw myself at them. Even confess my undying love for them. And then totally ignores them the moment I get their attention.

11. I sometimes talk "alien" like most guys do.

12. I have tendencies of smoking like a chimney and or drinking like it's Oktoberfest everyday when I'm upset.

13. I punch things when I'm pissed (yes and I can punch you too, jackass).

14. I'm kinda scared of commitments.

15. Hence, Marriage scares the shit out of me.

16. I push people away when they get attached to me.

17. I don't like attention.

18. I don't like talking much when I'm upset. I need to left alone and do the healing on my own.

19. I can sit infront of the tv for hours watching Basketball, Wrestling, Boxing and or F21 and yelling like a mad cow whenever my team scores.

20. I wear my jeans thrice before I wash em.

21. I'd rather watch live bands than go clubbing.

22. I can pull the funniest pranks known to men.

23. Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, doesn't matter if your happiness consists of Valium and stealing someone else lover. I am that easy to deal with.

24. I think Angelina Jolie is HOT and thinks Wentworth Miller is so GAY.


25. One word. WARFREAK.